Half hearted girl

They say I'm clinically depressed 

I took a written test

I'm supposed to be talking to somebody with a degree

I have not done that yet

But pretty sure I can guess how it's going to be

"Why do you think you're depressed?" She'd say

I would stare for a while thinking in a trance 

My childhood had its ups and downs

I lost friends I gainded some

I tried sports and gave up some

I fail almost every test I take

I never went on trips with all seven members of my family 

I never had a family meeting with out yelling or someone storming off

I visited the hospital more than my grandmas 

I cried more for my brother than I cried for me

I talked to my brother even though he couldn't talk back

I hugged him when no one else would 

I swear I cooked more than my mom

I told stories to mom even though she wouldn't remember them the next day

I got shut down when I wanted to spend time with mom cause "sorry honey I already took my ambien"

I have to tell my sisters I love them for my mom

I have to be responsible being the mom I mean oldest girl 

I have to watch my dad try to keep the roof on my house, the wind is blowing hard

I watched as we struggled to pay medical bills

I sang myself to sleep "heavenly father are you really there?"

I day dreamed cause I stopped dreaming for a while

I found out all the problems I have in the past two years

But does all this stop me or hold me down?

I'd say no, but isn't that why I'm here

"You're here cause you need someone to talk to, someone who doesn't know your past. So you can tell them your story." She'd say when I'm finished 

Then she'd shake my hand and say "hold on till we meet again." With a smile. 

Rocks will lift every time I go I know cause my brothers did.

Same with every time I write, maybe that's why writing is thee best.